I had to work this out for one of my radio shows, so I figured I'd share it online as well and see what you reckon. Agree? Disagree? This is my take on 2007's ten biggest showbiz stories...
10. The Celebrity Baby Boom
This year has seen the Celebrity Mum jump back into vogue in a way not seen since before 2000. However last time it was out and proud - the new take on it, it seems, is to stay Mum. Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera notably both hung on until their bumps were undeniable before confirming their pregnancies. Emma Bunton became the fourth Spice Mum, leaving only Mel C without any little ones. Even the anorexics’ pin-up Nicole Richie found a baby bump was the must-have accessory. Britney Spears was / wasn’t / was / wasn’t for most of 2007 – currently she isn’t. But her SIXTEEN year old sister Jamie-Lynn is… and K-Fed found out before Brit did. Finally, Lily Allen rounded off the year by announcing her pregnancy to secret Chemical Brothers boyfriend Ed Simons.
9. The Beckhams Take Over America
2007 kicked off with an unsuspecting USA blissfully unaware of soccer, or 50% of the UK’s Brand Beckham. But just 11 days later, in a blaze of publicity, the world’s most famous footballer announced he would leave Real Madrid at the end of the season for… the USA! Beckham signed a $250million 5 year deal with relatively unknown team LA Galaxy. His aim: ‘To take football in America to another level – higher than anyone can believe.’ His July launch saw more tickertape than the Presidential Elections and Posh wheeled out to pose for the cameras. He debuted against Chelsea the following week.
8. Spice Girls Comeback Flop
While the male side of Brand Beckham was pulling in the pounds, the female side was letting the side down somewhat. Following Take That’s spectacularly successful comeback (more of that later) the Spices were geed up to announce their own reunion and a World Tour. What followed were rumours of empty stadiums, in-band fighting / jealousy and the poorest selling Children In Need single in history. Those Tesco ads were probably the only good thing to come out of the deal.
7. Harry Potter Ending Revealed
After six years and six books, three teenage millionaires and a heavyweight film franchise, J.K. Rowling finally announced she’d finished the seventh and final Harry Potter book. Manuscripts were closely guarded and spoiler alerts were removed from the internet. Fans queued around the block on July 14th as shops opened specially to sell Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows from 12:01am. All those questions were answered… Is Snape on Team Voldemort or Team Dumbledore? Will Ron and Hermione end up together? Can Harry defeat Voldemort?
Plus, JK Rowling inadvertently outed Dumbledore as gay. So… does Harry die? Yes and No are both correct answers… if you want to find out you'll just have to read it.
6. Paris Goes To Jail
The self-styled IT girl’s legendary party lifestyle came to an abrupt halt in June when it transpired she actually wasn’t above the law. When she violated her probation for a drink-driving conviction, the judge decided Hilton needed a little thinking time… behind bars. As she whinged and whined about the unfairness of it all, the rest of the world sniggered behind their hands at her comeuppance. In the end she only managed 23 days of her sentence before she was released ‘due to ill health’. Hmmmm. Nicole Richie was due to follow suit in November but was conveniently pregnant and so avoided actually doing any jail time.
5. Amy Winehouse’s Rollercoaster Year
It began quite well, for Amy at least, with a win at The BRITs for Best Female Artist and a surprise May engagement and wedding to boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil. Then it all went slightly downhill. Major boozing, rumours of drug addictions and violence, and a string of shambolic on stage performances that had her fans demanding a refund. She went in and out of rehab, generally following her troublesome hubbie, who ended up in the slammer on suspicion of GBH and perverting the course of justice. A heartbroken Winehouse cancelled her tour and was arrested, but aims to be clean and ready for her six Grammy Nominations on Feb 10th.
4. Radiohead’s Revolutionary ‘Choose Your Own Price’ Album
Radiohead scored equal measures of praise and panic from their music industry colleagues when they made their latest album, In Rainbows, available for free download on their website. After a minimum of fuss and fanfare (only a secret low key message on their blog a week before) they allowed fans to choose the price for their album. Jay-Z hailed it a work of genius and vowed to pay $50 for the disc. However guesstimates say the majority paid under £2 for the album. Lily Allen was amongst the critics, saying big rich bands doing what they liked made it difficult for poorer newcomers to be competitive.
3. The Celebrity Big Brother Race Row
‘This is where I started my career… and where I’ll end it!”, joked Jade Goody as she became a surprise entrant in this year’s Celebrity Big Brother back in February. How right she was. Jade, S Club’s Jo O’Meara and glamour model Danielle Lloyd showed their true colours by racially bullying Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty in full view of the cameras. Viewers revolted and Channel 4 was forced to remove Jade from the house. Jade lost her TV show and perfume contract, Jo was pushed to the brink of suicide, Danielle got dumped by footballer boyfriend Teddy Sheringham. (But then again, not necessarily a bad thing.) It also may have meant the end of Celebrity Big Brother – celebs were so unkeen to sign up for 2008’s version of the show that they have instead ditched it and relaunched an E4-only as-yet unknown format - ‘Big Brother Celebrity Hijack’.
2. Take That’s Comeback
The Manc lads left it a whole ten years before announcing a series of comeback gigs (take note, Spices) which sold out in minutes. A triumphant reunion tour followed, with the lads poking fun at their manufactured roots while looking as energetic and sexy* as ever. Fans campaigned in droves for a full comeback and it was announced – a new album and a full tour. A Beautiful World went straight to No.1 and the song they penned especially for the film Stardust – Rule The World – may yet earn the comeback kings an Oscar. Robbie is even reported to be considering joining them on stage. Now THAT’s the way to do it.
1. Britney’s Meltdown
Britney had a terrible year in 2006 with divorce number two and total career meltdown. But any hopes of a relaunch in 07 fell utterly flat in February when the former lithe pop lovely went into utter meltdown. Shocking photos emerged of a rambling Britney shaving off all her hair in a hairdressers’ window in full view of the waiting cameras. Later the snarling skinheaded starlet attacked a paparazzo’s car with a golf umbrella. Her planned valiant comeback at the MTV Awards saw in fact a bloated, nervy Brit mess up her moves and mumble through her words.
As 2007 draws to a close, she may yet lose complete custody of her kids, while it’s just been announced her 16 year old sister is expecting a child of her own. Do not expect a new leaf to be turned over any time soon. In fact experts are predicting she may not make it through 2008 alive.
* In the humble view of this blogger, who would go for Howard if she had to choose.
Thursday, 27 December 2007
Tuesday, 4 December 2007
Bookworm
I am something of a freak in modern society. Or at least some people would see me that way. Because I like nothing better of a cold afternoon than to whack on a CD, curl up with a coffee and read a book. Forget TV, forget DVDs, even forget conversation sometimes! I LOVE to read.
True, I am slightly abnormal in that I'm a prodigious reader. I devour books - on a quiet holiday I can get through 16-20 in a two week stretch. But I think even occasional readers would be shocked at what I discovered today.
One of my colleagues has never read Roald Dahl's 'The Twits'.
How is this possible?!! Yes, I was a huge Roald Dahl fan as a child and read everything of his that I could get my hands on, twice. But Dahl is such a huge childrens' favourite that I can't believe other kids were deprived of such great, wacky, in places sick and twisted imagery and narrative ability!
True, I am such a worshipper that for my 25th birthday Mum took me to the Roald Dahl museum in Great Missenden, Bucks - based in the house where he used to live. I fully admit that most of the other spectators enjoying the exhibits that day were under 4ft tall. But when I sat in the actual armchair where he used to write his books, a shiver of greatness shot up my spine. Afterwards we climbed the hill to the churchyard where he is buried to see the huge stone BFG footprints which wind up the hill to his final resting place under an oak tree. It was such a fitting end for a man who lived in dreamworlds and dared to share them.
My cousin recently had a baby and bemoaned that they were swamped in clothes from wellwishers. Why not ditch the gifts of clothes and instead buy a classic book? The Hungry Caterpillar. The Elephant and The Baby. Not Now Bernard. Anything by Janet & Allan Ahlberg or the mighty Roald Dahl. Do it! (And while you're at it, buy yourself a copy too - you never know, you might rediscover a side of you that you never knew you'd lost.)
True, I am slightly abnormal in that I'm a prodigious reader. I devour books - on a quiet holiday I can get through 16-20 in a two week stretch. But I think even occasional readers would be shocked at what I discovered today.
One of my colleagues has never read Roald Dahl's 'The Twits'.
How is this possible?!! Yes, I was a huge Roald Dahl fan as a child and read everything of his that I could get my hands on, twice. But Dahl is such a huge childrens' favourite that I can't believe other kids were deprived of such great, wacky, in places sick and twisted imagery and narrative ability!
True, I am such a worshipper that for my 25th birthday Mum took me to the Roald Dahl museum in Great Missenden, Bucks - based in the house where he used to live. I fully admit that most of the other spectators enjoying the exhibits that day were under 4ft tall. But when I sat in the actual armchair where he used to write his books, a shiver of greatness shot up my spine. Afterwards we climbed the hill to the churchyard where he is buried to see the huge stone BFG footprints which wind up the hill to his final resting place under an oak tree. It was such a fitting end for a man who lived in dreamworlds and dared to share them.
My cousin recently had a baby and bemoaned that they were swamped in clothes from wellwishers. Why not ditch the gifts of clothes and instead buy a classic book? The Hungry Caterpillar. The Elephant and The Baby. Not Now Bernard. Anything by Janet & Allan Ahlberg or the mighty Roald Dahl. Do it! (And while you're at it, buy yourself a copy too - you never know, you might rediscover a side of you that you never knew you'd lost.)
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
Scaremongering is the new black
In the last few weeks, something has taken over as my new most hated form of email. It's beaten those 'Hello djsophieb, a big willy is a great thing...' viagra spam messages. It has TOTALLY usurped forwarded - and ironically named - 'funnies' ('this made me laugh til I wept!' etc etc). It is email scaremongering.
The online community used to be a lovely, happy place where you met old friends. Free from stalkers and happy slapping (well, sort of...) and filled instead with jokes and the chance to obtain 15 million Uzbekhistani roubles for the mere exchange of your bank account details. Now it's a place that fills you with fear about the smallest things.
Scaremonger emails have taken over from virals and funnies as THE most vital piece of forwadable information - at least in my address book. Bizarrely, the biggest harbingers of doom seem to be within my own family! Rarely a day goes by now without some kind of dire warning landing in my inbox.
Don't fill up with petrol, that's a death trap. If that rapist isn't hiding under your car when you unlock the doors, then the car stealing gangs are round the corner waiting for you to remove that piece of paper they've craftily planted on your back window.
Don't answer the phone to anyone! EVER! They'll either trick you into handing over your bank card security code or record your voice and use it to steal your identity.
And don't even think about buying a new coat / one of those air fresheners / bananas from Bombay. They'll at the very least contain shards of glass, killer spiders and rat droppings. At the worst you may contract rabies or AIDS.
Seriously, I'm a big girl now! I hope I am big enough to work out a scam if one comes my way, and if not - welllllllllllll that's what Barclaycard fraud protection is for. So do me a favour next time your finger lingers over that forward button when you see a scaremongering mail in your inbox... unless the message is a happy one, leave me off it!
Brucey
The online community used to be a lovely, happy place where you met old friends. Free from stalkers and happy slapping (well, sort of...) and filled instead with jokes and the chance to obtain 15 million Uzbekhistani roubles for the mere exchange of your bank account details. Now it's a place that fills you with fear about the smallest things.
Scaremonger emails have taken over from virals and funnies as THE most vital piece of forwadable information - at least in my address book. Bizarrely, the biggest harbingers of doom seem to be within my own family! Rarely a day goes by now without some kind of dire warning landing in my inbox.
Don't fill up with petrol, that's a death trap. If that rapist isn't hiding under your car when you unlock the doors, then the car stealing gangs are round the corner waiting for you to remove that piece of paper they've craftily planted on your back window.
Don't answer the phone to anyone! EVER! They'll either trick you into handing over your bank card security code or record your voice and use it to steal your identity.
And don't even think about buying a new coat / one of those air fresheners / bananas from Bombay. They'll at the very least contain shards of glass, killer spiders and rat droppings. At the worst you may contract rabies or AIDS.
Seriously, I'm a big girl now! I hope I am big enough to work out a scam if one comes my way, and if not - welllllllllllll that's what Barclaycard fraud protection is for. So do me a favour next time your finger lingers over that forward button when you see a scaremongering mail in your inbox... unless the message is a happy one, leave me off it!
Brucey
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Robots In Disguise
Oh my GOD! It's been three days now since I saw Transformers, and I still cannot get over it. I'm film obsessed. I see a lot. Yet it is still possibly the best film I have EVER seen!
I was really excited in the week running up to it - maybe I sensed the brilliance? But on the way to the cinema I started thinking 'hang on... what if this is just a load of boy-action-explosions and punching-violence?' So as we walked into the screening I was thinking 'oh boy, I hope I haven't misjudged this...' and I SO didn't!
It's a boys film that's great for girls too. I'm not saying Michael Bay doesn't slip into his cliched Armageddon past from time to time, and although Shia LeBouef (Sam) was utterly brilliant and his co-star very gorgeous, she looked tall and old enough to be his babysitter. But you let that go with all the good points (and there are loads).
The special effects. The sight of seeing Optimus Prime's shiny rainbow truck gleaming on the horizon for the first time. The script with comedy moments for robots as well as humans. The battles. Shia LeBouef in general - an absolute star on the rise. Oh yes, and the beautifulness of Fergie's boyfriend Josh Duhamel as the army captain. Phwoar.
If you haven't seen it yet, stop what you're doing and get to the nearest cinema now! And with Hollywood recognising our love for 80s classics, it won't be long until a whole host of familiar faces hit the big screen. The Smurfs, He-Man, GI Joe, Alvin and the Chipmunks (?) and my personal favourite Thundercats are all set to go into production soon. Do you think I can audition to be Cheetara?
I was really excited in the week running up to it - maybe I sensed the brilliance? But on the way to the cinema I started thinking 'hang on... what if this is just a load of boy-action-explosions and punching-violence?' So as we walked into the screening I was thinking 'oh boy, I hope I haven't misjudged this...' and I SO didn't!
It's a boys film that's great for girls too. I'm not saying Michael Bay doesn't slip into his cliched Armageddon past from time to time, and although Shia LeBouef (Sam) was utterly brilliant and his co-star very gorgeous, she looked tall and old enough to be his babysitter. But you let that go with all the good points (and there are loads).
The special effects. The sight of seeing Optimus Prime's shiny rainbow truck gleaming on the horizon for the first time. The script with comedy moments for robots as well as humans. The battles. Shia LeBouef in general - an absolute star on the rise. Oh yes, and the beautifulness of Fergie's boyfriend Josh Duhamel as the army captain. Phwoar.
If you haven't seen it yet, stop what you're doing and get to the nearest cinema now! And with Hollywood recognising our love for 80s classics, it won't be long until a whole host of familiar faces hit the big screen. The Smurfs, He-Man, GI Joe, Alvin and the Chipmunks (?) and my personal favourite Thundercats are all set to go into production soon. Do you think I can audition to be Cheetara?
Monday, 4 June 2007
Packing: never fun, but you can make it worse.
So, I moved house this weekend. Supposedly the most stressful thing you can deal with apart from birth and death. Yet knowing this much quoted fact, I still decided to move my boxes in, then leave them all behind and go and get battered in Oxford.
Sunday morning, I woke at about 10am with the world's driest mouth, a banging headache, an unexplained bloodspot at the foot of my duvet and a room still full of boxes. I honestly nearly cried.
Why do we do this to ourselves?! I'm 27 this year and I know unpacking is never fun, but OH LORD is it worse when seriously hungover. I managed just two boxes in my first three hours. Though admittedly this did include a two hour "power nap" to give me the will to carry on.
Happily I got through it and can now see large areas of my bedroom floor. But I say it now, and this time I mean it: NEVER AGAIN!
Sunday morning, I woke at about 10am with the world's driest mouth, a banging headache, an unexplained bloodspot at the foot of my duvet and a room still full of boxes. I honestly nearly cried.
Why do we do this to ourselves?! I'm 27 this year and I know unpacking is never fun, but OH LORD is it worse when seriously hungover. I managed just two boxes in my first three hours. Though admittedly this did include a two hour "power nap" to give me the will to carry on.
Happily I got through it and can now see large areas of my bedroom floor. But I say it now, and this time I mean it: NEVER AGAIN!
Sunday, 27 May 2007
It was great being an 80s kid!
For some unknown reason, it's Sunday afternoon and I'm listening to the rock chart on Kerrang! (Incidentally, that exclamation mark is VERY important to Kerrang! My friend Dan works there and it's always included, even if it's not an exclamatorily suitable situation.)
They've just played Free - All Right Now and forgetting the fact that it's a brilliant song, I was blown away because it transported me straight back to the late 80s and my life revolving around the only four TV channels available at that point.
You couldn't flick, you couldn't pause, you couldn't fast-forward. As a resuly, the adverts were addictive - we'd even sing the jingles in the playground. If you like me were a kid in the 80s, you already know where I'm going next.
80s telly ads, Free and All Right Now, the opening guitar riff - oh yes, we're transported straight back to that trusty Greyhound bus driving through America's dusty interstate roads, with the impossibly cool and beautiful blond/(e) strangers meeting and bonding over a piece of Wrigleys Spearmint Gum.
That, my friend, is the power of music and advertising. It's got to be at least 18 years since I last saw that advert, but one chord of All Right Now and I'm straight back there.
Every girl wanted to be the shimmering blonde. Every boy wanted the chance to nonchelantly tear their gum wrapper in half and give it to the girl of their dreams, so that one day they could casually saunter into a random diner and reconnect the pieces. Is this where Elizabeth Duke got the idea for those half coin friendship necklaces that were all over penpals like a rash between 86 and 94?
For me and my friends, back in 1988 or thereabouts, it was the epitome of all that was romantic and dreamy. Forget X Factor or becoming the next Pussycat Doll, if you'd given me a slot on Jim'll Fix It as the star of fantasy remake of the ad with me as the girl and Marc-Paul Gosselaar (a.k.a. Zac from Saved By The Bell) as the boy... (so what if I knew the exact spelling of his real name without googling it?!) I would have died happy.
Not so easily pleased nowadays - although I do hear on the grapevine Jimmy's making a comeback and looking for people who never had their dreams fixed first time round...
They've just played Free - All Right Now and forgetting the fact that it's a brilliant song, I was blown away because it transported me straight back to the late 80s and my life revolving around the only four TV channels available at that point.
You couldn't flick, you couldn't pause, you couldn't fast-forward. As a resuly, the adverts were addictive - we'd even sing the jingles in the playground. If you like me were a kid in the 80s, you already know where I'm going next.
80s telly ads, Free and All Right Now, the opening guitar riff - oh yes, we're transported straight back to that trusty Greyhound bus driving through America's dusty interstate roads, with the impossibly cool and beautiful blond/(e) strangers meeting and bonding over a piece of Wrigleys Spearmint Gum.
That, my friend, is the power of music and advertising. It's got to be at least 18 years since I last saw that advert, but one chord of All Right Now and I'm straight back there.
Every girl wanted to be the shimmering blonde. Every boy wanted the chance to nonchelantly tear their gum wrapper in half and give it to the girl of their dreams, so that one day they could casually saunter into a random diner and reconnect the pieces. Is this where Elizabeth Duke got the idea for those half coin friendship necklaces that were all over penpals like a rash between 86 and 94?
For me and my friends, back in 1988 or thereabouts, it was the epitome of all that was romantic and dreamy. Forget X Factor or becoming the next Pussycat Doll, if you'd given me a slot on Jim'll Fix It as the star of fantasy remake of the ad with me as the girl and Marc-Paul Gosselaar (a.k.a. Zac from Saved By The Bell) as the boy... (so what if I knew the exact spelling of his real name without googling it?!) I would have died happy.
Not so easily pleased nowadays - although I do hear on the grapevine Jimmy's making a comeback and looking for people who never had their dreams fixed first time round...
Saturday, 26 May 2007
Hair erectness
Sometimes, music pleases me so much that my body actually responds to it of its own accord.
I love that!
I just played a live version of Robbie's Angels from Knebworth back in 2003. Yes, it has become a tad cliched now every chav in the universe wants it played at their funeral. Yes, he has disappeared up his own bum a little in the past few years.
But even taking all of that into account, when he says "Knebworth, thank you" and the backing band bursts into the instrumental version as he leaves the stage, the crowd screams and all the hairs on my body suddenly snap to attention. How does music do that?! It's brilliant!
It's not the fact that somewhere in that screaming crowd is me, grinning to my best mate Sarah and swaying in time in the summer dusk. It's not that I want to become Mrs Williams, or even that I wish it was me up there on stage in front of 335,000 adoring fans.
It's just a brilliantly evocative song and never performed better than at that moment. Like music rocks... and my body seems to agree.
I love that!
I just played a live version of Robbie's Angels from Knebworth back in 2003. Yes, it has become a tad cliched now every chav in the universe wants it played at their funeral. Yes, he has disappeared up his own bum a little in the past few years.
But even taking all of that into account, when he says "Knebworth, thank you" and the backing band bursts into the instrumental version as he leaves the stage, the crowd screams and all the hairs on my body suddenly snap to attention. How does music do that?! It's brilliant!
It's not the fact that somewhere in that screaming crowd is me, grinning to my best mate Sarah and swaying in time in the summer dusk. It's not that I want to become Mrs Williams, or even that I wish it was me up there on stage in front of 335,000 adoring fans.
It's just a brilliantly evocative song and never performed better than at that moment. Like music rocks... and my body seems to agree.
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