In the last few weeks, something has taken over as my new most hated form of email. It's beaten those 'Hello djsophieb, a big willy is a great thing...' viagra spam messages. It has TOTALLY usurped forwarded - and ironically named - 'funnies' ('this made me laugh til I wept!' etc etc). It is email scaremongering.
The online community used to be a lovely, happy place where you met old friends. Free from stalkers and happy slapping (well, sort of...) and filled instead with jokes and the chance to obtain 15 million Uzbekhistani roubles for the mere exchange of your bank account details. Now it's a place that fills you with fear about the smallest things.
Scaremonger emails have taken over from virals and funnies as THE most vital piece of forwadable information - at least in my address book. Bizarrely, the biggest harbingers of doom seem to be within my own family! Rarely a day goes by now without some kind of dire warning landing in my inbox.
Don't fill up with petrol, that's a death trap. If that rapist isn't hiding under your car when you unlock the doors, then the car stealing gangs are round the corner waiting for you to remove that piece of paper they've craftily planted on your back window.
Don't answer the phone to anyone! EVER! They'll either trick you into handing over your bank card security code or record your voice and use it to steal your identity.
And don't even think about buying a new coat / one of those air fresheners / bananas from Bombay. They'll at the very least contain shards of glass, killer spiders and rat droppings. At the worst you may contract rabies or AIDS.
Seriously, I'm a big girl now! I hope I am big enough to work out a scam if one comes my way, and if not - welllllllllllll that's what Barclaycard fraud protection is for. So do me a favour next time your finger lingers over that forward button when you see a scaremongering mail in your inbox... unless the message is a happy one, leave me off it!
Brucey
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