The Top 10 Showbiz Stories of 2007

I had to work this out for one of my radio shows, so I figured I'd share it online as well and see what you reckon. Agree? Disagree? This is my take on 2007's ten biggest showbiz stories...

10. The Celebrity Baby Boom

This year has seen the Celebrity Mum jump back into vogue in a way not seen since before 2000. However last time it was out and proud - the new take on it, it seems, is to stay Mum. Jennifer Lopez and Christina Aguilera notably both hung on until their bumps were undeniable before confirming their pregnancies. Emma Bunton became the fourth Spice Mum, leaving only Mel C without any little ones. Even the anorexics’ pin-up Nicole Richie found a baby bump was the must-have accessory. Britney Spears was / wasn’t / was / wasn’t for most of 2007 – currently she isn’t. But her SIXTEEN year old sister Jamie-Lynn is… and K-Fed found out before Brit did. Finally, Lily Allen rounded off the year by announcing her pregnancy to secret Chemical Brothers boyfriend Ed Simons.

9. The Beckhams Take Over America

2007 kicked off with an unsuspecting USA blissfully unaware of soccer, or 50% of the UK’s Brand Beckham. But just 11 days later, in a blaze of publicity, the world’s most famous footballer announced he would leave Real Madrid at the end of the season for… the USA! Beckham signed a $250million 5 year deal with relatively unknown team LA Galaxy. His aim: ‘To take football in America to another level – higher than anyone can believe.’ His July launch saw more tickertape than the Presidential Elections and Posh wheeled out to pose for the cameras. He debuted against Chelsea the following week.

8. Spice Girls Comeback Flop

While the male side of Brand Beckham was pulling in the pounds, the female side was letting the side down somewhat. Following Take That’s spectacularly successful comeback (more of that later) the Spices were geed up to announce their own reunion and a World Tour. What followed were rumours of empty stadiums, in-band fighting / jealousy and the poorest selling Children In Need single in history. Those Tesco ads were probably the only good thing to come out of the deal.

7. Harry Potter Ending Revealed

After six years and six books, three teenage millionaires and a heavyweight film franchise, J.K. Rowling finally announced she’d finished the seventh and final Harry Potter book. Manuscripts were closely guarded and spoiler alerts were removed from the internet. Fans queued around the block on July 14th as shops opened specially to sell Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows from 12:01am. All those questions were answered… Is Snape on Team Voldemort or Team Dumbledore? Will Ron and Hermione end up together? Can Harry defeat Voldemort?
Plus, JK Rowling inadvertently outed Dumbledore as gay. So… does Harry die? Yes and No are both correct answers… if you want to find out you'll just have to read it.

6. Paris Goes To Jail

The self-styled IT girl’s legendary party lifestyle came to an abrupt halt in June when it transpired she actually wasn’t above the law. When she violated her probation for a drink-driving conviction, the judge decided Hilton needed a little thinking time… behind bars. As she whinged and whined about the unfairness of it all, the rest of the world sniggered behind their hands at her comeuppance. In the end she only managed 23 days of her sentence before she was released ‘due to ill health’. Hmmmm. Nicole Richie was due to follow suit in November but was conveniently pregnant and so avoided actually doing any jail time.

5. Amy Winehouse’s Rollercoaster Year

It began quite well, for Amy at least, with a win at The BRITs for Best Female Artist and a surprise May engagement and wedding to boyfriend Blake Fielder-Civil. Then it all went slightly downhill. Major boozing, rumours of drug addictions and violence, and a string of shambolic on stage performances that had her fans demanding a refund. She went in and out of rehab, generally following her troublesome hubbie, who ended up in the slammer on suspicion of GBH and perverting the course of justice. A heartbroken Winehouse cancelled her tour and was arrested, but aims to be clean and ready for her six Grammy Nominations on Feb 10th.

4. Radiohead’s Revolutionary ‘Choose Your Own Price’ Album

Radiohead scored equal measures of praise and panic from their music industry colleagues when they made their latest album, In Rainbows, available for free download on their website. After a minimum of fuss and fanfare (only a secret low key message on their blog a week before) they allowed fans to choose the price for their album. Jay-Z hailed it a work of genius and vowed to pay $50 for the disc. However guesstimates say the majority paid under £2 for the album. Lily Allen was amongst the critics, saying big rich bands doing what they liked made it difficult for poorer newcomers to be competitive.

3. The Celebrity Big Brother Race Row

‘This is where I started my career… and where I’ll end it!”, joked Jade Goody as she became a surprise entrant in this year’s Celebrity Big Brother back in February. How right she was. Jade, S Club’s Jo O’Meara and glamour model Danielle Lloyd showed their true colours by racially bullying Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty in full view of the cameras. Viewers revolted and Channel 4 was forced to remove Jade from the house. Jade lost her TV show and perfume contract, Jo was pushed to the brink of suicide, Danielle got dumped by footballer boyfriend Teddy Sheringham. (But then again, not necessarily a bad thing.) It also may have meant the end of Celebrity Big Brother – celebs were so unkeen to sign up for 2008’s version of the show that they have instead ditched it and relaunched an E4-only as-yet unknown format - ‘Big Brother Celebrity Hijack’.

2. Take That’s Comeback

The Manc lads left it a whole ten years before announcing a series of comeback gigs (take note, Spices) which sold out in minutes. A triumphant reunion tour followed, with the lads poking fun at their manufactured roots while looking as energetic and sexy* as ever. Fans campaigned in droves for a full comeback and it was announced – a new album and a full tour. A Beautiful World went straight to No.1 and the song they penned especially for the film Stardust – Rule The World – may yet earn the comeback kings an Oscar. Robbie is even reported to be considering joining them on stage. Now THAT’s the way to do it.

1. Britney’s Meltdown

Britney had a terrible year in 2006 with divorce number two and total career meltdown. But any hopes of a relaunch in 07 fell utterly flat in February when the former lithe pop lovely went into utter meltdown. Shocking photos emerged of a rambling Britney shaving off all her hair in a hairdressers’ window in full view of the waiting cameras. Later the snarling skinheaded starlet attacked a paparazzo’s car with a golf umbrella. Her planned valiant comeback at the MTV Awards saw in fact a bloated, nervy Brit mess up her moves and mumble through her words.
As 2007 draws to a close, she may yet lose complete custody of her kids, while it’s just been announced her 16 year old sister is expecting a child of her own. Do not expect a new leaf to be turned over any time soon. In fact experts are predicting she may not make it through 2008 alive.


* In the humble view of this blogger, who would go for Howard if she had to choose.